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Leading amidst chaos

Kadir

01 Feb 2023 — 6 min read

There are so many things about the current tech layoff trend that frustrate me: The fact that it is a trend. That it is all based on claims about future market uncertainty without any information about how firing employees in mass actually helps. That CEOs are praised for admitting the most basic amount of empathy or care for the people being let go. That they won’t consider any alternatives to putting folks’ entire livelihood on the line, but will hire some career coaching consultancy to conduct resume reviews and offer interview support. That there is some sense of martyrdom in the highest level of leadership assuming all the “responsibility” for who goes, when in reality there is no accountability for the countless immigrant, pregnant, Disabled folks on whom a disproportionate burden is placed.

What I really want to talk about though is the subtext. A claim about how the market now rewards efficiency, instead of growth. Translation: employees need to perform or else. Everyone who currently still holds a job because they’ve barely escaped layoffs or it hasn’t come for them yet is quietly terrified of what may come. I can’t help but feel that this is all push back. Against the sustainability and accessibility and flexibility that has been built up by the force of the pandemic. Against the rise of unionization. If we are terrified for our jobs, we will need to get back in our boxes, take what we can get, and push ourselves harder.

No matter the intention behind mass layoffs and swooping changes, it certainly does not yield better motivation. What does happen is people get stressed out and don’t feel safe to fail and learn from failure. They are on edge about their basic needs for rest, time off, sick leave, and are unable to plan their future. There’s worry and guilt and disappointment in the air, which is antithetical to accomplishing more. However, first line leaders and individual contributors are under pressure to do better with less. Amidst more chaos, while adjusting to loss of people, while knowing that the promotion or role change you were hoping for is now indefinitely postponed.

As a person who has built a business around supporting tech leads, engineering managers, and software engineers, I’ve been trying to figure out how to show up for people at this time, especially the immigrants, women, people of color, queer people, Disabled people, fat people and early career people who are suffering the ripple effects of layoffs. Not just layoffs, which are only a symptom of a more dire issue: a fundamental lack of putting humans first, that spills out as lip service DEI initiatives, pages of values unaccompanied by commitment to action, and being willing to call employees family and have them identify with demonyms like googler, tweep, or dutonian, without actually caring for them.

As much as I want to reimagine the way tech corporations operate and for all employees to have fairer contracts and the option of being part of a strong, inclusive labor union, I also want to acknowledge that most of us are working within the system and need ways to seed incremental change. I want to offer three tangible ideas to consider if you want to support people at this time and every time you straddle chaotic organizational-culture while doing your best for your peers and reports:

Care and vulnerability build trust

I believe care is the first and most important part of leadership: care for yourself, and care for your people. Care is taking needs into account, making space and advocating for them. Care is creating systems that enable folks to leave their work at work, take downtime and prioritize their career and growth goals. Care is understanding that everyone is different and helping difference thrive.

Chaos outside your control is a lot more manageable if you have built a culture of care. People understand when decisions are made outside of their control, but it’s harder to swallow when their leaders package them as positive when it is crushing. If you can offer transparency about what’s going on and be honest and vulnerable about how much you can and can’t share, it goes a long way towards ensuring people trust you.

Locate your accountability and power

When emotions run high, it is easy to take accountability for others’ experiences and place the onus on yourself, i.e. being over-accountable. Or swing to the other extreme and decide there’s nothing you can do because everything is outside your control, i.e. being under-accountable. When you find yourself feeling powerless or guilty, it can be helpful to return to basics and ask the question, “What am I accountable for in my role at this time?”

Whether or not you have a formal leadership role, this helps prioritize what matters in this moment, whether it’s supporting someone on project leadership, advocating for lowering scope when deadlines are fixed, or reaching out to someone that’s struggling. Locating accountability helps turn away from despair towards action.

You can then go one step further to ask, “Where is my power and how can I put it to use right now?” Perhaps it’s in sharing skills. Or taking the downtime you need to normalize that others can do it too. Or advocating for an on-call schedule that better accommodates your team. All big changes bubble up from small changes, and sowing the seeds for change is worth it even when it’s unclear if you’ll reap the benefits.

That all said, if you are drained from performing emotional labor and find that you need a break, that’s okay! This is not a push for doing when what you need is rest.

Turn towards team and community

I often hear folks describe leadership as a lonely experience. Many of us tend to hold all our fear and discomfort within, perhaps because we don’t want to add to others’ troubles, or we don’t have spaces to share and receive support where it’s safe to be vulnerable. We all deserve support, and it is important that you have a support system and community in place so that when things get rough, you know where to go.

This could look like offering space for your team or peers to air concerns and get feelings out there. Or reaching out to other team members and seeing where you can support each other. It could be finding external support such as a coach, so you can bring up concerns in a confidential setting and work through them, and build the skills you need. You could also look for a community that is supportive, or build one where it’s lacking.

When chaos strives to isolate us and put us on the path to burnout, centering our human emotions and needs, finding our power, and reaching for support and community can help us shape the kinder, more inclusive tech futures we dream of.

Speaking of support and community, this area where I can be of help directly; read on for my meetup and coaching offerings.

New and Aspiring Eng Leaders meetup

I host a monthly meetup to support new or aspiring leads and managers in tech. We welcome challenges folks are currently navigating and talk through them as a group. In the last one, we talked about how we define engineering leadership, what transitioning from individual contributor to manager looks like, and leading during major change - the topic of this newsletter. Folks with varying levels of experience in leadership come, and I’d love for you or a peer to join us! It’s every fourth Tuesday, and you can sign up on Eventbrite. (Jan 1 2025 update: this link is no longer active)

Attendees from the meetup have also voted to have a slack group to support each other, which is upcoming!

Coaching

I support new and aspiring leads and managers in tech on growing into confident and inclusive people leaders. I also work with individual contributors on identifying and growing the skills they need to succeed in their careers. If you or a peer are interesting in exploring working with me 1:1, send me a note!

More on this and my other offerings are coming soon on my website, which I’ll hopefully share in the next newsletter!

Until then, take care dear folks.